Direct Speech
by You'llNeverKnow1212
Summary: What happens when Harry, Ron, and Hermione find an old book full of spells? Read to find out. One-Shot.


The Golden Trio were walking down the halls of Hogwarts. They were just pointlessly wandering about, enjoying themselves during the last week of the school year, when something in the corner of the corridor they were in caught Hermione's eye.

"Hey guys, look what I found!" exclaimed Hermione, with a great deal of enthusiasm. The boys whipped their heads around, expecting to see some sort of treasure, or at the very least a Fanged Frisbee. But they were disappointed to see it was a dusty old book, bound with leather and about as thick as their heads.

Ron said, "C'mon Hermione, you can't expect us to waste our time reading a dumb old _book."_ Harry didn't say anything but nodded in agreement with his friend. Hermione, on the other hand, was scandalized.

"Books are _not _dumb!" she almost screamed. Then she added, "It might have some ancient secrets about how to defeat Lord Voldemort." This piqued her companion's interest, and they ambled over.

"_The Book of Direct Speech. _That's an odd name," commented Harry. He got bored a few seconds after looking at the book's almost indecipherable script.

"Why don't we just go to dinner?" he asked. Ron perked up, and both of them started off to eat, with Hermione following behind them, lost in one of the many chapters of the book. They had just sat down at the Gryffindor Table when Neville Longbottom plopped himself down on the seat next to Ron, much to his disgust.

"Hey, get away from me Longbottom!" demanded Ron, scooting himself as far away from him as possible. "You're not cool enough to sit next to me!"

"I just got away from detention with Snape, so this was the only open seat," Neville mumbled, secretly hoping that Ron would think he was cool because he got a detention. Ron just turned away to Harry and Hermione.

Hermione seemed to finally have found something interesting in the book as she said, "Harry, Ron, look at this spell! It says that if you say this spell, you never have to memorize any long and tedious spell names again, you just have to say what you want done in direct speech."

"Cool," said Harry. "Let me try."

"Wait a second. We've got to test this out on somebody first," said Hermione. The three friends looked about. _Who was the perfect guinea pig? Somebody that nobody cared about. Somebody that was uncool. Somebody that was - sitting right next to them!_

"Hey Longbottom," said Harry. "Read this spell." Neville didn't know what the spell meant, but if it meant the coolest kid at Hogwarts liking him then he sure wasn't going to turn him down. He read the spell from the book aloud.

"Now wish for something - anything," said Hermione.

Neville thought for a minute, then said, "I wish Snape were dead! I hate him!"

All of a sudden, a green flash of light erupted from Neville's wand from it's spot on the table, heading towards Snape eating at the teacher's table. Snape, unfortunately, managed to duck at the last second, causing the curse to hit the wall behind him instead.

The next few seconds were lost in the commotion that ensued. "Did you see that-"

"Avada Kedavra?"

"An unforgivable here - from who-"

"Pity Snape wasn't hit-"

And on and on. Then Dumbledore rose and said, "Accio- Accio-" Here he seemed to not know what exactly to say. he thought about it, then said, "Accio piece of filth that tried to attack a Hogwart's professor."

Neville, who was cowering under the table and wondering if he was cool, was yanked up as if by an invisible string. He was pulled all the way to the headmaster.

"Sir, please, I didn't know-" started Neville, but Dumbledore ignored him. He sent a patronus to send a message to the dementors in Azkaban, who rushed over to the school.

"Dementors, give this fool the Dementor's Kiss," said Dumbledore. However, the dementors took one look at Neville and left, deeming him beneath the standards for someone that they would kiss. Dumbledore went into a huge rage and said an unknown spell, causing Neville to disappear. He was never seen or heard from again.

**Okay, so this story was kind of a spur of the moment thing. It was kind of a dumb idea but hey, I was bored. Anyways, let me know what you think, review!**


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